There is no try!
College and Career Education
Day 6 Lecture Notes
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Tracey Kobayashi
50 Phelan Ave, NGYM
San Francisco, CA 94112
(415)452-7311
tkobayas@ccsf.edu
PE 9A: Fit or Fat
College & Career Ed
PE 50: Fitness Center
IM Me!
AIM - TKatCCSF
Yahoo - tkobico
ICQ - 155909399
Personal Statement
(aka: Admissions/Application Essay)
The college application process often has an essay portion. This essay, for most undergraduate programs, is a comprehensive personal statement. Graduate schools often ask you to answer a specific question.
Generally Speaking...
- Write in your own voice.
- Use words you know, but don't overuse...keep a thesaurus handy.
- Express your ideas and convey values important to you.
- Keep an eye on justifying your suitability for the school or program: motivation for your course of study; personal characteristics that make you a suitable candidate.
- Discuss personal experiences leading to your decision or showing your qualities.
- Don't rehash accomplishments and activities already highlighted in your application or resume.
- Avoid cliches. Be direct and original.
- Keep it personal -- avoid vagaries.
- Be concise.
- Use the active voice.
- Stay focused on your central theme.
Help From Friends and Family
Have more than one person read your essay. Here's what they should focus on:
- Essay has one central theme.
- Introduction engages the reader. Conclusion provides closure.
- Support details are concrete experiences.
- Active voice is used when possible.
- Sentence structure is varied (not all long or all short.
- There are no cliches or slang.
- All elements support the main theme.
- Transitions are used appropriately.
- All sentences are crucial to the essay.
- All parts of the essay are clear.
They may also think about these questions...
- What about the essay is memorable?
- What is the worst part of the essay?
- What does the essay reveal about me?
Brainstorming
- Accomplishments you particularly value or are crucial when placed in the context of your life.
- Any attribute, quality or skill that distinguishes you from everyone else. How was it developed...
- Books, movies, art, that influenced your life in a meaningful way.
- Difficulties? How your perspective changed as a result.
- Challenges you overcame.
- Moment of epiphany.
- Most important extracurricular/community activities. How joined, what made you continue.
- Future dreams and how the school fits in.
Here it is, the Personal Essay I promised you. This essay relates a negative childhood experience to the writer's ultimate goal of wanting to help women. She also ties her company's ethics into the picture as well.
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Information in this section © 2005 Tracey Kobayashi, unless otherwise noted.